The Horrible Side To being A Parent.

I know just what you mean. Once our girl was playing with her cousin (girl) who was six and the cousin insisted on giving our daughter a hug. Our girl (4) didn't want to be hugged, so we explain to the cousin that it is ok and she shouldn't take it personally, and to Revel that that nobody can kiss her or hug her if she doesn't want to, and if somebody tries to, she has to shout and run away and tell a grown up. Because it was happening in a safe environment, she wasn't terrified, and it gave us the excuse to give her some guidelines.

While we give her a bath, we talked about private parts of our body and she washes herself.

I am involved as a volunteer in a children's club and I have undergone child safety training. All the volunteers are trained in that issue and we have a "certificate" for the parents/guardians. Perhaps you should ask the dance class and other establishments if the workers there have done any training?

Also, all the workers in the club I am volunteering at, have to be checked with the police. It is not nessecary if a worker works with children and the parents are around (like mother and toddler groups), but for all the rest of activities, where parents are not present, the workers/volunteers should be checked.

I think we should trust our children, when they say they don't want to go somewhere/with somebody, try to find the reasons instead of insisting they go because they should. Even if there is no apparent reason, better honour their wish instead of pushing them into the wolf's mouth.

I have worried about this for years. My best advice is get to know the parents really well before sending your daughter anywhere. We still don't do sleepovers with her school friends, only relatives.

Another thing is when my daughter was 4 and in Headstart, they did something at her school VERY CONTROVERSAL for some parents to take called Good Touch, Bad Touch. It was a week long project where they watched some videos and showed the difference between good touching and bad touching. The girls/boys learned the correct names for their "areas" which alot of parents didn't like but now if those little boys or girls are touched in a bad way, they KNOW that was wrong and they need to tell an adult. There may be something you can check out from the library but I was actually RELIEVED that they did this. Some parents opted out their kids but the majority of us did it. When us parents viewed the videos ourselves a few of the mothers left crying. I'm only assuming but I think something bad had happened to them and that's just awful.

I'm one that has a very hard time letting my daughter go anywhere or do anything because I'm always worried about this, car accidents, or her getting lost. I really don't trust anyone! LOL I think that is just our motherly instinct.

I think that worry is a synonym for mother. You can't help but worry. But you can't let it drive you crazy either. I think the best thing to do is talk to her on her level and just let her know that most people are good people but there are some not so nice people and that she can always tell you ANYTHING. I'm sure there are websites and books out there with lots of info. I dread the day I have to do it. Good luck to you and hugs. We all know how you feel and share your worry with our own little ones I'm sure.

I worry all of the time too Lisa. I try to keep the lines of communication open with the kids so they will feel comfortable coming to me with anything. Even that though, doesn't prevent something from happening in the first place because by the time they tell me about it, it will be past tense. I worry incessantly...

Lisa - I know how frightening this kind of stuff is! I go completely neurotic just thinking of it. I guess its one of those things that is better talked about in order to hope our kids will come to us IF anything 'odd' ever happens to them. It's so easy to say 'try not to worry' but I know that can be futile! I'm with you!