Should children call parents by their first name?

Written by Gerard on Thursday 22 October 2009

Do you call your parents Mum and Dad, or do you use their first name? Or, more importantly, do you allow your children to call you by your first name?

I've been meaning to ask this question on Familytastic for a while now, because our daughter - quite of her own free will - has been calling me "Gerard" and "Dad" intermittently for almost as long as she could talk. And to be honest, a little part of me likes the idea of being on first-name terms with my children.

Also, before my father died, I called him by the nickname "Chib" (it's a long story how he got that name). He never seemed to mind, except on occassions where his brothers or sisters were visiting. Even today I refer to him as Chib, which is rewarded with raised eyebrows in polite conversation!

The reason I like my children using my first name is that it doesn't tie me to a role. I'm not always Daddy. I have noticed that Rachel calls me Daddy or Dad more whenever she needs me in that parenting role (or she's just sucking up to me for a favour - junk food treats or avoiding bedtime).

Also, there's something quite absurd about being called by your role. That's like being referred to as "manager", or "husband" or "man". Unless you're a doctor or a police officer, you probably don't get this in any other area of your life - why should parenting be any different?

Are you friend or parent?

Maybe this is wishful thinking, but I'd hope that the first name thing pays off in a couple of years, when they transition to teenagers and traditionally shut the parents out. I'd like to think that because we didn't force "Dad" and "Mum" on them, they might be a bit more open and honest when the time comes.

What about you? Do you let your children call you by your first name? Are you on first name terms with your parents?

Are there any reasons why using the first name is a bad precedent to set for children? Or do you think this is a positive step in your relationship with your child?