relationships

Cycling with Rachel

Written by Gerard on Sunday 13 June 2010

I had quite a Rachel-centric day today. Rachel's our 8 going on 18 year old, a very knowing, witty and fun little girl to be around. She's definitely picked up my sarcastic streak, and had a great knack of using it to comic effect.

First off, I came down to start breakfast with the kids. We're trying to be better about getting up on time on weekend mornings, because the kids often slope downstairs and stuff themselves while we sleep. I mentioned in passing that I was going for a cycle, and Rachel invited herself along.

My Inheritance

Written by Gerard on Monday 7 September 2009

Before he died, my father insisted that he wanted me to have two old fog watches that his father had passed to him. My reaction was visibly lukewarm, but I accepted them and promised that I would make sure to pass them down the generations. As long as Lisa doesn’t eBay them first. I’m joking :) See? I used a smiley-face!

But wait, judgemental reader, this wasn’t because I was holding out for a high value item such as a house or a car. No, it was because no physical item would ever replace him.

I wasn’t visiting the hospital so regularly hoping to nudge myself into a more favourable spot in his will. No siree, and I think he knew that Lisa and I are fairly non-materialistic folks. Funnily enough, the one thing I would have loved to receive would have been some kind of letter from beyond the grave. Yes, you can almost taste the diet of Hollywood schmaltz - did Bette Midler get a letter at the end of Beaches?

Quality Father-Son Time

Written by Gerard on Wednesday 29 March 2006

Just got time for a quick post this evening before the exhaustion takes me and I slump lifelessly across my keyboard.

I came home from work at the normal time this afternoon. Ray was heading out to dance class and Lisa was offering to take Jake and Dan over to a friend's house to give me some alone time.

Well, on the way home I'd actually decided to spend some time with Jake this afternoon. The offer of alone time was tempting, but I decided to take him to the park while Ray was at her class, then the whole family would meet up afterward.

Jake's obviously not used to one-on-one attention. As soon as we'd dropped Ray at her class, he raced out of the center looking for our car (which wasn't there!) He seemed genuinely disapponted until I said "Let's go to the park"

So, we spent an hour in the park together, and he chattered away to me while taking death-defying bounds about the place. I coached him in how to climb that big rope "web", and after a while he started to negotiate it on his own. A little girl came along and kept us company, and he seemed to enjoy having a friend to play with.

I'm finding these one-on-one experiences really help me to 'tap' into Jake and see how his personality's developing. Little chats at the kitchen table, usually interspersed with some "Dad, do you know somesing...." anecdotes show you how and what he's thinking. We're noticing recently that he's seeking out negative attention from us whether it means misbehaving or crying, and the only way to deal with that is to ignore (or downplay) the negative and give him more positive encouragement.

For me, I find it easier to do that outside of the house. It breaks the routine and comes across as a bit of a treat, so hopefully he'll end up looking forward to out quality time together.